Mother's Letter Broke Me
by panda.chan825
Summary: What letter from her mother could be bad enough to send Riza Hawkeye bolting out the door without any explination? What will she find when she gets to the scene of the heart ache? Royai. Warning; Dark and suicidal, proceed with caution. Rated M for Theme


**Hey, I'm in a bit of a uhm, dark place right now so here is my first Royai fic. Sorry it's so dark.**

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Riza sat at her desk worried about her parents. Lately her dad had been more distant than normal and her mother very stressed and gloomy. She was also missing a gun from her closest too, which was strange because no one would be as foolish as to steal her prized possession. She polished her gun over and over till she thought she was rubbing off the polish of the shiny weapon.

Roy looked from his desk with a cocked eyebrow. His Lieutenant was very sluggish today. He tried not to let it show and sat up a little bit attempting to do his boring paper work to try and keep the stress off her. Falman, Breda, Feury, and Havoc were all oblivious to the fact that the blond boss was just out of it today.

All of a sudden the one and only Maes Hughes busted through the door with a huge smile on his face ready to show pictures of his adorable daughter Elicia. Roy looked up with a death glare making it clear it wasn't time for his interruptions. Riza looked over to Roy with a slight sigh silently thanking him. She just was not in the mood for anything today.

A knock from the door made everyone look up. A soldier walked in and saluted everyone in the room.

"At ease sergeant." Roy calmly called.

The soldier walked over to Riza's desk and saluted again.

"_Is he dense? I said he was okay." _Roy thought to himself.

"At ease." Riza repeated. "What do you need?"

"Letter arrived for you. A woman dropped it off at the front. Didn't get a name or a face, she dropped it and ran keeping her hood pulled up around her face." The soldier stated saluting _once again_ before turning and leaving.

Riza read the letter and her eyes widened with horror as she finished the rest of the letter. She dropped the letter and fled the room as fast as she could, with out even grabbing her gun. Everyone in the room was confused, as too what would cause her strange action. For Lieutenant Hawkeye to run out in such a rush and not even say one word or grab her gun was just out right abnormal.

"What the hell just happen?" Havoc asked as his mouth hung open dropping the cigarette from between his lips.

"I don't know." Roy whispered walking over to her desk and picking up the letter as everyone surrounded him. Inaudible gasps could be heard simultaneously while they stared at the piece of paper that read;

_My Dearest Daughter Riza,_

_ I love you with all my heart. Nothing in this world could possible change that thought. It pains me to write this but I think you deserve an explanation. It's been 35 years of the pure agony in this estranged family. I love your grandfather Grumman and you dearly, your father however. I can't. I'm so sorry. I should have never let him tattoo his research on you. I'm sorry that I married him and that he is your forsaken father. I wish I were a better mother to you darling. I've failed your grandfather, I've failed myself, I've failed my marriage, but worst of all I've failed my most prized possession, you. Your father, he's cold hearted yes. I feel that alchemy has finally taken its told on his mind. You once asked me after witnessing one of our fights if he ever loved me. Yes, at one point he did, before all of this damned research started. That's when he turned into the cold hearted bastard and abusive man he is. I've also caught him cheating on more than one occasion. After all I've done for him it's just broken me Riza. I'm so sorry darling. I'm so sorry. I feel you should know this by now darling, I've suffered from depression and suicidal thoughts for the past 4 years. I feel I've out lived my purpose in this world now it's time to say goodbye. I Love You Baby Girl, Forever In Each Other's Hearts._

_Mother_

"Shit!" Mustang screamed running out the room. Maes, Falman, Breda, Fuery and Havoc looked at each other before running out after the Flame Prince.

"Emergency! Anyone asks tell him or her we'll be back soon! From the Fuhrer Mustang! I'm leaving too!" Maes screamed to the ladies at the front desk.

They all piled into one of the military cars as Roy sped off to Riza's parents house. Luckily over the many many years they've known each other Roy knew almost everything about his dear Lieutenant including where her parents lived.

It was a good thing they only lived a couple blocks away from Central. However being the emergency it was Riza didn't think about getting into one of the cars at central nor did she think she had the time to ask Roy for the keys to one of them so she ran the couple of blocks till her lungs nearly gave out.

As the men pulled up to the house they saw Riza rushing to the front door trying to unlock it and cursing when she realized she didn't have their key on her. They all got out the car and ran to the front door. Roy grabbed Riza by the hips and pulled her out the way as Havoc kicked the door in. They all followed Riza in as they heard a gunshot from the second floor.

"MOTHER!" She screamed as she ran frantically towards the door. Her heartbeat stilled a bit when she heard one of the maids scream.

"Madame Hawkeye please stop this insanity." One of the ladies screamed. She was glad to hear her mother hadn't done anything yet and that they weren't too late.

She bolted up the stairs with everyone else behind her, Roy and Maes in front of the rest of the men. She ran towards her parents' room on the far end of the hall just as she saw her mother push the tiny maid out the door and locked it instantly.

"NO!" Riza screeched as she ran faster towards the door. She pounded on the door screaming for her mother to open up. She moved when Roy once again pulled her out the way as Hughes kicked the door in.

There sitting on the edge of her bed was her mother in a black dress with her head tilted to the ceiling, tears streaming down her porcelain face and Riza's missing gun in her hand with the barrel in her mouth.

"Oh God No!" Riza screamed as she ran towards her mother.

_**BOOM**_.

Her mother pulled the trigger before Riza could even make it half way to the bed.

"Mother!" Riza screeched with tears running down her face as Roy grabbed her from behind and held her back from the blood and gore. She screeched as he pulled her shoulders and turned her face into his chest.

"Breda! Call an ambulance for the maid, she's still breathing!" Mustang commanded looking to the maid lying on the floor. "Maes get a team here now. Fuery stop the maid's bleeding. Havoc, Falman round up anyone else in the house and get them out then notify Berthold." Mustang commanded as Riza shook and sank to the ground sobbing her heart out into his chest. She fought against him trying to turn around and go to her mother but her arms gave away no strength anymore. At the moment he was thankful she wasn't armed and he continued to hold her in his iron grip.

"Mother, why?!" She screeched tilting her head to the ceiling, making everyone wince at the pain displayed in her voice.

"Riza Shhhh. I've got you." Roy soothed.

"NO I NEED HER I NEED TO GO TO HER!" She turned her head towards the scene and screamed till she was purple at the sight. Roy covered her eyes and pulled her face back into his chest.

"Riza stop, don't look. I'm commanding you. Someone give me a cloth or something!" Mustang yelled frantically.

"I don't care what you command me dammit!" She wailed.

Breda rushed over to them with a scarf he found on a chair in the room. He knelt down and waited for Roy to give him instructions.

"Sir, medics are on the way right now. What should I do with the scarf?" He asked.

"Blindfold her." Mustang stated.

He tied the scarf around Riza's eyes as she thrashed against Roy and screeched some more. Roy's heart broke from the sound of pain laced in her voice. When Breda was done he scooped her up bridal style and walked out the room and down the steps as Breda and Fuery stayed in the bedroom with Madame Hawkeye and the bleeding maid.

As he walked into the living room on the couch with his broken Lieutenant in his arms. He looked around to see if he could find Maes anywhere. He looked towards the dining room to see Maes walking out.

"Homicide/Suicide unit is on their way." Maes notified. As head of the investigating unite he knew this was a suicide and went ahead and called the team that would just log all of the information and take the body instead of bringing his own team over here.

Maes walked over to Riza and knelt down to her level. He looked at her sympathetically and stroked her hair.

"Um Roy why is she blind folded?" He asked staring at Roy oddly.

"I had to cover her eyes so she wouldn't look over." Roy stated turning red.

Maes untied the binding and looked at the mess of a Lieutenant in Mustang's arms. His fatherly instincts kicked in as he brushed her sweaty bangs out her face and wiped her tears away. He gave her a sad smile and looked up at Roy about to ask him a question when suddenly Riza's hand shot out and grabbed one of Maes knives he kept in his breast pocket. Roy and Maes eyes widened as she quickly attempted to bring the knife to her throat before Maes yanked it out her hand and Mustang pinned her hands down.

"Riza what in the hell are you doing?!" Mustang screamed. Of course he knew what was going on her mind was clouded and her judgment screwed up. He tried to hold her down but it was hard in the position they were in. She was simply sitting on his lap and he had only her hands in his grip. He quickly let go of her hands picked her up bridal style, while she trashed and screamed and threw her down on the couch. He leaned over her and pinned her down starring the blond tornado down with a fiery gaze.

"First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye! Get a grip of yourself! You are not leaving us! You are a damn strong stubborn woman and you promised to _**never**_ leave my side! I will not allow you to go out like this! You are not to leave us!" He hollered. "You're not to leave me." He mumbled broken at witnessing his beloved Riza attempting to take her life.

"I CAN'T DO IT I DON'T WANT TO LIVE LET ME GO! LET ME GO MUSTANG!" She sobbed broken.

Her face contorted in pain as did his hearing this. They didn't notice people arriving and walking through the door as Maes got up to direct them all.

"Riza please." Roy pleaded more quietly.

She sobbed and thrashed around against Roy's rock hard grip. Suddenly he knew something he could do to stun her movements. He braced himself for what he was doing hoping that when he did this she wouldn't react by punching him in the face. He held her down more firmly and leaned closer to her as she continued to sob her heart out. With all the courage he could bring forth he pressed his lips to hers and waited for her reaction. She stopped all movement and her eyes flew open at what was happening. Roy Mustang Fuhrer of Amestris was kissing her while she was having a break down. It was suddenly too much to take in.

He pulled away and held his breathe waiting for her reaction. He let her go and she sat up completely calm now. He allowed her to get up and watched as she walked upstairs towards her parents' bedroom. He hesitated in letting her go but at least she was calm now. It might be from the completely stupid move he did but he had to do something out the ordinary to her to calm down. He followed close behind her incase she grabbed a gun from one of the officers or a knife from Maes again. Roy knew she needed to be aware of things and the little closure, if any it could offer.

She watched as the paramedics carried the maid out in a stretcher and relieved to see the maid conscious. When she saw the scene in the bedroom her heart broke and she started having another break down. Riza finally got to see the scene before her with a somewhat clear mind and she wish she hadn't.

Roy cursed when he saw that they still hadn't covered the body and the team was bagging up all the evidence they could and interviewing the maid in the room. For the love of alchemy couldn't they take that poor maid out the room or at least cover the body? He was about to grab Riza and bring her back down when he saw her breathing heavily and crying. Suddenly her weight shifted and she was falling towards the ground. Havoc and Maes darted towards her as Mustang shot his arms out and caught her before she hit the ground. He looked down and was somewhat relived she was sleeping. Yes she was sleeping due to passing out but still sleeping now. Her breathing had calmed and she simply hiccupped. He sighed and picked her up bridal style again.

"I'm taking her back to my place to keep an eye on her. Control everything Maes and when you get back to Central." Mustang stated calmly.

"You got it Roy." Maes sighed.

Roy turned on his heels and walked over to the steps before looking back and going down the steps and out the door. He figured they could all walk back as he walked carefully towards the car. Looking down at Riza he sighed at her vulnerable state.

"Mother, why?" She sighed in her sleep.

Roy's eyes watered as he placed her in the back seat.

"I don't know sweetheart. I just don't know." He murmured, smoothing her hair and kissing her forehead before he shut the door and got in the drivers seat driving home.

_fin_

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**Damn, that was long and sad, but I'm feeling much better now. Sorry that this is my first Royai fanfic. Promise happier ones to come! R&R! – **


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